Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
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His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
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Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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