After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
