I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize