a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize