Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
