Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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