Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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