its not stalking. its research.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
