I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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