Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
