i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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