We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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