went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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