He is an equal opportunity slut.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
