my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
