We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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