I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
