So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
