Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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