perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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