Im at strip club and am horny
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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