Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You are a genius and a whore.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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