WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize