fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She's the barista slut.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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