god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
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