this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
