theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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