That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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