we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
They took my balls.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
