Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We just shotgunned beers for America
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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