She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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