It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
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Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
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SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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