we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
