There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If I had your ass I would rule the world
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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