matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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