dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
