How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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