I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize