It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
