Your face is a jimmy john
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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