I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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