so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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