I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
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I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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