if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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