Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
