oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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