Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
wow bdsm is so cute
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize