some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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