I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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