so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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