And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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