Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
