SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
