Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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