I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
