weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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